A Letter to My Sons
Dear Jef and Max,
If there is one thing I wish to pass on to you, it is not money, nor status, nor even the memories of our adventures together, though I hope those will always warm you. What I truly want to give you is a compass. A way of moving through life that will serve you when circumstances are kind and when they are cruel. A way of living shaped by the best minds who ever wrestled with the question of what makes a life worth living.
This is what I have learned, and what I want you to carry with you.
First, never stop questioning. The world will constantly try to sell you answers about success, about happiness, about who you should be. Do not accept them blindly. Ask yourself, is this really true? Is this really mine? That habit of honest self examination is the first step to freedom.
Second, seek balance. Most mistakes come from chasing extremes, working until you collapse, or drifting into idleness, giving everything away, or hoarding out of fear, being reckless, or being paralysed by it. The good life lies in finding the steady middle path. You do not become courageous by wishing it. You become courageous by practising courage in small ways, over and over again. Who you are is built day by day, choice by choice.
Third, remember that life is not lived alone. The measure of your humanity is how you treat others. Honour your friends, respect your colleagues, cherish your partner, and hold your family close. Show compassion, even when it costs you. Be honest, even when it stings. Be reliable, even when it is inconvenient. These are not small things. They are the very choreography of a good life.
Fourth, learn the art of letting go. Much in this world is beyond your control. Markets rise and fall, health falters, people disappoint, and all of us will one day die. Fighting what cannot be controlled only multiplies suffering. Focus instead on what is yours to shape, your attitude, your choices, your actions. Accept change. Accept impermanence. Meet it with dignity.
Fifth, embrace your freedom. You may be tempted at times to hide behind excuses, the role you play, the tribe you belong to, the pressure of circumstance. Resist that temptation. Your life is yours to create. Do not drift, build. Do not copy, invent. Love the fate that is given to you, but also shape it with courage and imagination. Become, as one thinker once said, the artist of your own life.
Sixth, give. The gifts you have, your time, your mind, your skills, your wealth, are not just for you. Ask always, how can I use what I have to make life lighter for others? How can I do the most good with what I can give? This is not charity in a shallow sense. It is a way of life that connects you to something larger than yourself.
Seventh, never switch off your mind. The greatest dangers in life come not from wickedness, but from thoughtlessness, from not paying attention, not questioning, not thinking. Keep your mind awake. Resist slogans, easy answers, and manipulation. And as our age fills with powerful tools, from machines that mimic thought to systems that steer attention, treat them as mirrors, not masters. Let them sharpen your understanding of what it means to be truly human.
And finally, live with courage and joy. Life is not a waiting room for something else. It is here, now, in every small act of love, of presence, of creation. Walk with curiosity. Laugh often. Fail honestly. Get back up. Hold close the people who matter. And when in doubt, choose what expands your humanity, not what diminishes it.
This is the compass I hand to you. It was shaped by many voices across centuries, from Athens and China, from India and Europe, from thinkers who sat with suffering, with power, with exile, with love. But in the end, it must be shaped by you.
You are free. You are responsible. You are loved.
With all my heart,
Hendrik
